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Sunday, February 20th, 2005
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4:01 pm - Dopamine Album Launch Show!
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| Thursday, February 10th, 2005
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7:33 pm
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Woot, its Thursday and no school for over a week. Ever so happy, i'm full, i've just eaten a big chinese after having curry on toast at 2:30pm Euegh.
Niamh and Dave arrived just after 5pm, while i was on the phone to Eddie still tidying, and i was on the phone, got a text, turned around and my sister was stood there, i screamed so loud, it was hilarious. I finshed tidying with the help of Dave and then mum came in. the dog went crazy.
Yummy chinese <3
Haha.
Tomorrow we're getting a carpet laid in the front room, a new one like. That should be pretty cool, haha. I'm gonna be so nervous tomorrow. I'm such a fool. Jonny is coming down with Will on saturday i'll be with him from like 10am to like 8:30 pm... thats 10 and a half hours <3<3 Eddie is gonna meet us at some point. This should be the coolest day ever.
Oh My God. Jonny has a new picture on his msn display picture, and oh my god he looks so hot in it, i'm gonna steal it. Like. Now. Hold on.
I cant wait til saturday. <3 So happy
current mood:  full
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| Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
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1:23 pm
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BABY IS THIS LOVE FOR REAL, LET ME IN YOUR ARMS TO FEEL, THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART BABY... *dances*
Wow, this song have just got too much of me now.
I'm bored.
Jonny had band practice last night so i was bored shitless. I break up from school for a week on thursday but then Niamhs down on thursday wooo fucking woo. Oh well, i get alcohol and then im gonna get mum to go out on friday so that Jonny, Will and Harry can come around for a bit and hopefully Zack will be gone out aswell, so thats all cool, even if my bitch ass brother doesnt go out i told him Harry and Will will play with him on his guitar, that will keep him happy, i guess Niamh coming down will boost my life into some sort of routine. Haha if i get any shit from Dave i'm not taking it, i'll walk teh fuck out i dont fucking care anymore. He cant give me shit, my mum doesnt even like him! hse just wants to see her fucking daughter!
Zack is 18 on monday, i havent bought him anything, i'm sure he'll understand, i havent got anything for mum either, Jonny will have to help me at least buy her a card and some flowers on Saturday.
I'm really looking forward to seeing Jonny, i'm sure he saw me when he played anyway Haha. This will be such a cool weekend, i just hope all goes well. I have £6 for one shirt already, i will be getting money for baby sitting and at least £4 in teh next two days. So if all goes well, i'll have enough for mine and bens and for town on saturday. Jonny knows he cant buy me anything becuase if he does i'll kick his ass. Maybe i'll let him buy me a frappuchino. Maybe not. Haha.
He told me to update, so i have. Happy now mr?
current mood:  naughty
current music: Head Automatica - Beating Heart Baby
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 5th, 2005
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4:49 pm
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The Intent finally have merchandise to buyyy... oh yes
go to www.bigacerecords.tk to buy their EP. Intentional Fallacy only costs £4.. and its awesomeness. So go buy it =D
T-Shirts *coming soon*
will look something like this:
So, go. Buy, and i'll update <3 Yay
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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9:51 am
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oh my gosh. I had such a good night last night, few beers turned into a load of beers, when i went out last night. I went out to Knottingley, neaar leeds with mummy and i didnt realise that Faye (oh my gosh haven't seen her for a year .. to the day!) So it was awesome seeing her! She has a boyfriend now, has done for 8 months! And shes dissapeared. shes half of what she was. Haha and she said the complete same about me.
I was less than 30 Miles from Mr Jonny last night... he text me again. I'm such a fool, i was smiling so much but then on the way home, drunkenly falling asleep in the car, i just wanted to curl up in his arms. Haha. I'm so lame :|
Agh, i'm so hungover. I'm so going straight edge. Even though its so XsceneX now. I cant handle getting drunk all the time. Well, i'm gonna go eat something before i die.
<3
Hearts for Jonny <3
current mood:  mellow
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| Friday, February 4th, 2005
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3:33 pm
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Haha, i dont know what happened last night but i think i just got myself a boyfriend =\ I was talking to jonny last night and the conversation went like this :
Me = I need a boyfriend :*(
Jonny = I need a girlfriend
Me = go out with meeeeeeeeeee =D
Jonny = Ok.
:\ Weep. Well, i dont know who he has told yet, i think it would be cool to keep it kind/of quiet until he comes down next weekend then tell pepple that we were thinking about it. WEEPP!!!!!! *squeals* i was grinning like a fool last night hahaha.*fool*
i luff him i do. I luffs you Jonny <3<3<3<3
Miss Eloise <3 Mr Jonnyyyyyyyyy
Haha, i'm not really feeling cynical *dances and sings* SO CYNICAL OH SO CYNICAL *falls over* Hahahaha *turns into Adam Lazzara*
weep, i feel loved
current mood:  cynical
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| Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
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8:46 pm
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She was a waitress in a bar,
a little down the road from where i cam from
she seemed to wear little diamonds in her eyes.
One time i looked up later on we had her hooked up
for a walk in the rain until midnight
Call it senstivity in me
and we had a castle in mind
&&& we had a castle in mind
we had a castle, we were honestly careful
but we all deal with the hassle sometimes.
there wasn't a single time i dont think things should have gone a little better
maybe her heart wasnt in the right place
her phone was turned off it would seem that i was blown of,
so i go for a walk until midnight
call it sensitivity in me
&&& we had a castle in mind,
we had a castle in mind,
we had a castle, we were honestly careful but we all deal with the hassle sometimes.
I've got her in my sight,
but shes just not quite there yet,
We has a castle in mind,
&& we had a castle in mind,
We had a castle, we were honestly careful
but we all deal with the hassle sometime.
we had a castle in mind,
we had a castle in mind,
we had a castle, we were honestly careful
but we all deal with the hassle sometimes.
current mood: naughty
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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8:31 pm
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I went to see Team America today. It was really cool, me and Eddie were the only two in the cinema, it was weird wecould talk as loud as we wanted through it and everything, really cool.
I told Jonny where my diary was, and he reads this now. Eep, im gonna move my actual diary elsewehre. It will save me in the long run. I dont want him to see some of the things i write in there. *personal*
*sigh* i really like Jonny... why cant he seeeee =*(
current mood:  horny
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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10:22 pm - But honestly.
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Tonight was awesome! Honest to fucking god. Me and Eddie went for ocffee and i had such a great time, its a shame it ended. Then i was with Jaime and she was being so nice. Awhhh. Then my mum bought me a pair of new jeans! tonight was really good.
Me and Jonny didnt talk much because my social life was at an all high. I'm being a mean tease to him now.
I Heart Mr Eddie <3 Forever
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8:22 am
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Hmm, i had a dream last night. I was at a machine head gig, and then my boyfriend, even when i dont have a boyfriend, got asked up on stage and was playing drums for them. Anyway, i left and then when i came back, my boyfriend was in bed with another girl :| So, i left again, and my boyfriend came after me, and then we were at home, me and my boyfriend. Then this girl he slept with came through the door and i was like "you fucking whore i fucking hate you, get the fuck out of my house!" then i realised the whore he slept with, was my best friend. Sarah. Anyway, Sarah walked towards me and flicked out a pen kinfe and cut right down my right arm a few times, so i punched her with my left arm. Then i was the one feeling guilty about it, anyway. then i was sat in the front room and she had dissapeared but she was still in my house, so i was like "get the fuck out of my house you fucking traitor!" So she comes back to me and stabs me twice in the stomach and then goes off, so i was laid there, dying practially, and then my mum comes in and takes me to some sort of retirement house old peoples home thing and makes me walk up loads of stairs, with blood still pouring out of my stomach and arm, till we get to a room right at the top of the house. Anyway, i was thinking "fuck i need to write to someone to let them know what happened" and the first person i thought of was Hakim. Hakim being an old friend of mine who i loved so much when i lived in London. Yesterday i was thinking about going to see him again in a few weeks. But, i know everyones addresses, and there i was thinking the only one i knew was Hakims. Hmm. But thats kinda where my dream ended. Man, i'm confused.
Coffee with Eddie again tonight... i guess i'm looking forward to it, i love the way he cuddles. i've missed him too. Its his birthday on Saturday. So if i dont see him i'm gonna get Jess to give him his card etc.
Calum is gonna get laid tonight with a girl he met at a gig called Chantelle, he conveiniantly told me last night but "he didnt want me to know because he still likes me but he needs to get laid" or something like that. I dont particularly care. I'll just have fun with Mr Eddie tonight. Cuddles is enough for me.
Ashlee and i speak loads now. Ashlee being the friend of Kierans whos ex is gonna sleep with Calum on friday. Yeah, me and Ashlee - part time lovers (yeah we were listening to Stevie Wonder.. nothing better than a blind guy on piano!) I can smell a good friendship blooming in him =)
Mr Jonny was being so sweet to me last night, i just wanted to cuddle him, i think he's coming down with Will not this weekend, but next weekend *so excited* and that means i'll get to see Mr Harry aswell. I'm gonna definelty go to the cinemas with Jonny when hes down here. <3 I'm really starting to like this guy *thumbs up*
I will update later when i've had coffee with Mr Eddie and gone clothes shopping with mum. Yay new clothes <3
current mood:  restless
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| Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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9:56 am
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Oh my god. I never realised how nice around where i live is. I went out this morning just walking by the train tracks and its so beautiful. As soon as i get a new digicam, i shall get pictures. The wildlife down there is so cool, i turned around and saw a spider hanging off a tree, it was making a web so i stood and watched it for like 30 minutes. It was a beautiful spider, it was all grey with yellow stipes, i guess, but they were in a weird pattern. Oh wow. I wish i had my camera. I was listening to radio one while i was out there, on my phone. I didnt realise i could. How stupid am i?
I spoke to mr Eddie last night. He said that he knows how i feel when i say i love him but cant have him, becuase if i was single he would so be with me right now. I said "so basically you're fucking me about" and then went offline. 15 minutes later, received a text saying "thank you. From Eddie" I dont know what that was all about; i dont want to fall out with him. I just needed to know straight, and now i do.]
Talking to one of Kierans friends last night, Kieran being my Ex. Hes pretty cool. We were takling abuot his ex Luci, who added me to msn a while back. She is such a whore face, she likes Calum, and was all "oh, dont get angry about Calum coming over?" im like... "calum can do as he wishes" Haha. she told me to delete her and block her. I just blocked her and so she got her friend to add me, and say "Luci said to delete her, not just block her" so i said "tell Luci, i shall do as i wish" Then she text Ashlee saying "tell that little cunt to delete me" Haha. Oh girls amuse me. I'm not too bothered about Calum anymore. What did i see in him? He talks about other girls, he makes me feel like shit sometimes. Meh. Maybe when he moves here, we'll still meet and be friends.
Mr Ben, is now known as Mr Emo-Ben <3 His new hair is gorgeous. I just want to bite him =)
Jonny though... hmm, me and Jonny are talking all the time now. We have our own little custom emoticon on msn ^.^ < its practially that face in a msn icon thing. Haha. He uses it all the time, it seriously makes you go "Awhh" it can never be over used either. It works a charm everytime.
I'm determined to write in here more often, i'm gonna get Mr Emo-Ben to help me figure out how to do stuff like add pictures and files etc.
current mood:  nerdy
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| Monday, January 31st, 2005
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6:41 pm
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Okay, apology to mr Eddie. He was being pissy for a quite valid reason so im sorry eep. I've got eustacia vye on now... oh the memories of that night <3
Errr. I've had this shitty cold for about a week now. Well, since wednesday night. Eddie says i shouldnt blame him for it because it wasnt him. I'm not too sure.Calum and me talking again today, was okay. I guess we're totally jsut friends now, which in my case is cool. Because i like other guys. Can you guess who? Hmm, hes reading this aswell. So i should shut up. Actually he effin knows anyway. Hello Jonny *waves*
I've been drinking too many cup-a-soups. they make me hyper. I was dancing around my kitchen to Rooster and Saosin. Haha im such a fool
Ben is yet to send me his damn new picture of his hair. But oh my god the picture of his back is enough to make me orgasm.
Guess What.
Nothing.
Nope.
Nothing.
Okay, sometime. Jonny is hot. *nods*
Haha, see what happens when i get hyper?
Oh my gosh. Ben just sent me the picture. How hot is his hair....VERY! Hmm...his pictures affect me.
i'm happy again *squeals* =D
current mood: mischievous
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4:12 pm
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Hmm, this place has really slipped my mind recently. I cant come up with the excuse i've been busy though because i havent.
Eddie went to see Greenday on friday night. He rang me bless him =) He sounds like he had so much fun.
I went into town on saturday and bought some valentines cards and hung out with Kay and Lucii and everyone it was pretty cool. Not really got much to talk about.
Jonny (drummer from The Intent) and me are getting along quite nicely, and thats pretty cool, but it seems me and Calum aren't talking as much as i'd like, i still want to be friends with him even though i like other people. Meh. I dont know what to do. *kicks self*
I was just on the phone to Eddie, he was being so fucking harsh. He was really pissy too, got me down so now im really pissy and upset and annoyed and down again. Thank you Eddie. I was happy when i rang you. Seriously what the fuck was up?
Meh.
current mood:  pissed off
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| Monday, January 24th, 2005
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7:48 am - Grrrrrrr
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Saturday : AMAZING! Oh my god, i want to do it again. I went into town with Eddie and it was so cool, lol, we went for coffee and i bought a prawn sandwich not a good idea, based on the fact im allergic and they give me a fuck off rash around my neck. Haha. But my favourite part was when we went to call his mum! Oh my... cuddling in the phone box <3 i soo could have kissed him, and he said yesterday he so could have kissed me too. I hate the fact he has a girlfriend. But meh. They seem pretty happy. Its his birthday on the 5th Feb. I'm getting him a card =) Hehe. Oh, and i'm giving him a valentines card too. Calum went to see underoath and was all happy abour that on saturday night, and he kept me up til 4am talking about it. Although, yesterday we didnt talk much. I'm not sure whats up, i'm getting stupid again and thinking he doesnt really like me. *sigh*
Sunday was okay i guess, spent most the day on teh computer while the MSN was being a whoreface. then Eddie rang me for like 2 and a half hours <3 we talked about everything and even when there were awkward silences. They didnt seem that awkward.
My hair is now a lighter red, but not that different. Its just a bit lighter. >.< Meh. I don't know what to say noww. TLV LINCOLN YEAH! Haha. Ahem.
I miss Eddie and Calum now =(
current mood:  confused
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| Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
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7:31 pm - OH MY GOSH!
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i've just caused myself to have a heart attack, i was planning on going to see TLV in Leeds, right? Well.
FUCK YES! THEY'RE PLAYING LINCOLN DRILL HALL! Which is like, where i live! Oh my god, its £14, and i should have £14 by April 5th right, i'm gonna go to this gig. I have to. Acey Slade, In Lincoln. *faints*
YES!
current mood:  bouncy
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| Friday, January 21st, 2005
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11:45 pm
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Okay, looks like i'm not going out friday night or saturday night now, but Eddie is coming into town on saturday to see me, so i have a shoulder to cry on. I've been feeling well down tonight, and just criedmost the night, but then Vicky made me smile by attempting to ring me 9 times when MCR were playing in leeds tonight, she said the gig rocked, so i'm happy for her. Calum and i spoke on the phone again today. I really do love him, hes so amazzinggggg. Heh. And i got my new glasses.. i dont know how to post pics on here, but the pic is on my myspace, so go there to find it =) I can't wait to see Eddie, just to have a cuddle and a chat <3 Hes being so nice to me. I can see a great friendship blossoming =) It would piss off his little sister, Jess, too. It was all thanks to her that i knew her brother. Haha.
Vicky said i could sleep at hers, all the way up int Leeds in april, To see Trash Light Vision.. so i will definetly be going to that gig. Oh yes baby. Haha. That made my night, me and Vicky talked about old times, when our friend Erik asked if Acey Slade was the dude from Guns and Roses, and when we said that Acey was like Sex...on toast <3 Oh i miss them days before everything got complicated.
Anyway, i should be going to bed soon, i'm only online because Calum might appear at some point in the next hour online, i doubt it though, i havent spoke to him since 4 o'clock. I miss him. He went out for a family meal and looks like he never came back.
Night night
current mood:  indescribable
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| Thursday, January 20th, 2005
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5:19 pm - oh my....
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Calum might be moving to peterborough in May! HOW COOL! I mean, its not final yet, but this is like May... *squeals* i'd get to spend weekends with him and everything, i really hope this time it doesn't fuck up.
Weep
current mood: bouncy
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7:48 am
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Yesterday was pretty awesome, i got my hair cut again, just a bit shorter, but same style, so nothing to cream about, buut, buuuutttttt, i went to find some new glasses, and oh my they are uber sexy! I'm picking them up tomorrow and i cant fucking well wait!! I had my health and social care exam, it went pretty well, but im sure i failed.
Eddie was on radio one on the lock up last night, i was on the phone to him for ages last night, he wants me to go see One Word Poem with him on saturday, and his girlfriend, dude, i love his girlfriend, shes so awesome <3 But hey at least i'll get cuddles, and Harry might be there =) But the only way i could probably go is if Eddie's mom gives me a lift home on saturday night, so hes asking today, but Eddie's mum is the coolest, so im sure i'll be allowed, now i just need to get my mum to let me go. Haha.
No comply are playing on Friday in Lincoln, i'm not gonna go, or even if i just go down to meet Kelly and the guys in the band, that would be cool, but i wouldnt stay.
Why am i so happy.
P.S Calum loves me <3
current mood:  hopeful
current music: Eustacia Vye - Castle In Mind <3
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| Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
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8:12 pm
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I gave Calum the linnk to my Live Journal, even though i acted as though i didnt want him to read it, when i do, because i want him to know how i feel... meh.. i dont know what to do anymore, hes the last thing i think about at night and the first in the morning. why can't we be together? I'm sure he'll find some gurl way cooler than me and get with them, it is just inevitable. Or he just wont like me. *kicks wall*
current mood:  crushed
current music: Box Car Racer - I Feel So
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2:26 pm - Box Car Racer - I Feel So
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Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
Let's start over
current mood:  blank
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